Dear Ashtyn

My baby is almost 8 months old! :( It seems like yesterday she was newborn and last week we were just finding out she was a little bean in my tummy. 

I guess thinking about that today made me a little sentimental and got me thinking about giving her advice now instead of when i'm 45 and she's thinking "Mom, there is no possible way you were actually my age once..."

So here it goes...

Dear Ashtyn,

Here are some little lessons in life that will hopefully make your maturing years a little easier than having to learn about them on your own.

1. High school boys will ALWAYS be dumb. Yes they mature eventually...some don't but thats another story. They will flirt with you and then probably have a new conquest the next day. This isn't because you're not good enough, or pretty enough, or even skinny enough, this is just because they are boys and don't know what they want yet.

2. Spray tanning does not look natural. I don't know if it's even possible to get the right shade. You WILL look like a traffic cone and you will get laughed at, but mostly by me. (follow this rule especially in the winter, enjoy the whiteness including your own.)

3. Never, I repeat NEVER wear white pants during "that time of the month." EVER!!! It will never end well and if does it's because you decided to wear diapers. Also make sure to ALWAYS bring extra pants during that period of time. (haha get it?!) Lastly, never sit on anyones lap during the 3-5 days. I don't feel the need to explain that one.

4. Sweatpants and makeup don't go together. Whenever I see this, i'm always confused. Were you rushed and forgot to get dressed after putting on makeup? Or maybe a ninja stole your clothes while you were getting ready? Who knows, the second one sounds more reasonable to me. Wear one or the other. Yes i'm guilty of this and that is why i'm telling you now it's a big no no. Although ponytails and sweats do go much better together.

5. Movies LIE!!! First kisses are not romantic. Your leg wont automatically rise, and it doesn't start to magically rain either. I expected both and was totally let down. First kisses are in fact awkward and in my opinion terrible. This does not mean you are allowed to just keeping kissing boys till you get it right. Just expect that your first kiss might end up making you feel like this.

 6. Truth or dare always ends badly. Either you've said way too much OR you've gone and done something not only stupid but RIDICULOUS. I'm not proud to admit this but during one of these fun truth or dare seshes I accidentally ended up mooning my poor mother when she drove past us on the freeway. (insert long, awkward, embarrassing pause here.)

7. Gossip=drama. Gossip is not nice, it's not cool, and it's not fun. I'm sure that more than once in your high school years people will gossip to you and about you. It's mean and it's not worth it. Save yourself the drama and tears and just don't do it!

Well thats what i've got so far, I'm sure the longer I think about the more advice I could give. Until next time bubby. I love you!

Love, 

Mom